The following is a small excerpt from our bestselling ebook and book, The Date Night Questions Experience. Each topic has ice-breaker anecdote, followed by our "famous" date night questions, and a simple, fun and effective bonding challenge (scroll down to get straight to the questions). Over 25,000 couples from all around the world have loved this incredible resource, and numerous therapists still encourage their clients to indulge in the dynamic activities and prompts to deepen their connection and strengthen intimacy. Click here to access the rest of the chapters, and turn your next date night into a night when you remember exactly why you first fell in love. Wishing you countless amazing conversations and experiences together.
Much Love and Gratitude, Danielle and Adam
Every relationship has its own love story. Sometimes we need to go back to that story to spark some of those emotions that have been buried beneath the baggage of everyday life: work, finances, parenting, health issues, family drama, and everything else that gets thrown our way. Stripping it all away to get back to the purity, magic, and bliss of falling in love helps us revisit the reasons we chose one another in the first place. Adam and I have told the story of how we met so many times, that I’m not even sure what’s real and what’s altered at this point. Malcolm Gladwell says that every time we take a story off the shelf, we corrupt it a little bit. However, if we don’t take it down from the shelf, it might be forgotten.
I love to tell people about the details of when Adam and I were introduced in high school by our mutual friend, Rebecca, who has always been this bright ray of sunshine in our lives. Adam was the quintessential “bad boy,” always with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and girls from miles around would warn their friends about him. He also had eyes that seemed to pierce straight into your soul. That was the first thing that most people noticed about him. Our first date together resulted in us going back to his dorm room (he was at boarding school), and hiding me in his closet from the RA. Later that evening, he covered my neck in hickies, and the next morning when my coach saw them, I was kicked out of a very important field hockey game. These were probably all signals that Adam was trouble. But I was highly attracted to, and am still excited by the bad boy in him that keeps life adventurous. It’s simultaneously been the most problematic aspect of our relationship; the fact that we both have some of that “rebellious kid” in us that never went away.
There are so many layers to our story. It’s multi-faceted and fun. The best part? It’s all ours. No matter what transpires in our relationship, that unique story will always be there as a reminder that the foundation of our life together is rooted in love, appreciation, and physical and emotional attraction. Channeling those giddy, intoxicating emotions by revisiting the beginning stages of falling in love is important. Underneath all the layers of stress, expectation and responsibility are still those two young kids who want to be fun, carefree, and a little….bad. The heaviness of years between us and that fresh, excited couple is real. But most likely, with a little push and some deep nostalgia, we can still unlock those same thrilling feelings of infatuation and passion.
Date Night Questions: The Story Of Us - To be asked about your personal story by one partner and answered by another, then vice versa. Remember, the role of listener is as important (if not more) than the role of answering.
What is the most unique aspect about our “meeting” story? Which aspect of it do you love most?
First impression of me:
Three words that best describe that first interaction:
Were there unexpected circumstances involved in our meeting; circumstances which, had they gone differently, may have resulted in us never having met, or at least not in the same time and place? Explain.
Is there a specific quote or statement that I said that sticks out in your mind? What about it is so memorable?
What qualities/characteristics do you still see in me that have not changed much since our first meeting? In what ways do I still manifest these traits?
Is there an aspect of each of us, our personalities and/or behaviors that has faded or gotten lost in the chaos and burdens of life, that you would love to reignite?
If you could go back and tell each of us one thing that night so we could better prepare for our future together, what would it be? What advice or insight did we both lack but from which we could have greatly benefitted?
A movie is being written about our love story. What is the title? What actor/actress portrays you? What actor/actress portrays me? What’s it rated?
The Story Of Us Challenge:
Set the timer for five minutes and separately write down every single detail about the two of you meeting that you can remember. Be as specific as possible about the time of day, place, what you were wearing, who was there, if there was music playing, etc. After the time is up, read your accounts to one another and then compare/contrast.
Want eleven more chapters, including ice breaker anecdotes, Date Night
Questions, checklists, tips and strategies, and small bonding challenges? Click here! Use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off.